Planning a bridal shower takes nerves of steel, executing it flawlessly requires mad skill. Lucky for you, we have plenty of both. We also have a full proof bridal shower planning checklist of all you need to know, with a corresponding timeline to keep you ahead of schedule. The only thing we don’t have? Your insight. As maid of honor, it’s up to you to use your personal knowledge and experience to your advantage. Remember, nobody knows your bride like you do- that’s why she a made you a maid (DUH!)- so honor that role by throwing a bridal shower customized to your BFF’s style and character. Simply think of us as your fairy godmother, here to guide you on your journey and offer up a few fun suggestions along the way.

wooden welcome sign behind a card table

Pre-Party Prep (3 or More Months Before)

Pick a Date: While this might seem like an easy task to complete, it takes a bit of strategic planning on your part. Remember that your bride is up to her neck in wedding planning and vendor meetings, aka her calendar is always full. In order to pick a date that works with both her schedule and the rest of the bridal party, we recommended suggesting the weekend approximately 8 weeks prior to the wedding and working your way down from there. Be sure to have a minimum of 2 weeks between the shower and wedding, because that period is considered serious crunch time for the couple. On the contrary, don’t plan the shower so far in advance that your bestie feels like her bridal activities came and went too soon.

Determine a Location: Once you’ve selected a date for the shower, it’s time to decide where it will be held. To save yourself from spending any type of booking or holding fees, we suggest asking around to close friends and family members with homes large enough to entertain guests. In many cases, the mother or the bride or groom will offer their house for use if it’s in the immediate area. If that option is not available, use the time of year and guest count to help narrow down your choices. For example, if your shower will be held during the spring or summer months, consider having the bridal shower outdoors in a local park. Or maybe the shower will only consist of a few close family members and friends, in which case you could reserve a private space at a one of the bride’s favorite restaurants.

Compile a Guest List: Rule number one- DO NOT do this without the bride’s input. It’s extremely important that the bride has the final say in who does and does not get an invitation to her shower. While some brides like a big to-do with lots of people and presents, other brides prefer a smaller affair attended by only their closest friends and family. Whether your bride falls on one side or the other, or somewhere in between, it’s your role as maid of honor to get her finalized guest list including full names and home addresses. And remember- everyone who is invited to the bridal shower must be invited to the wedding as well.

Choose a Theme: This is often a tricky box to check for maids of honor, especially those who are planning a bridal shower for the first time, because the options are endless.. and daunting. Before you begin to tackle this task, it is imperative that you sit down with your bride to get a feel for what she’s expecting. Though it’s fun to have a few surprises up your sleeve, you want to make sure that this bridal shower is a reflection of the bride and not yourself (or any other bridesmaids). Once you’ve got a basic understanding of your BFF’s wishes, you can start researching ideas. To offer you some guidance in your quest, your fairy godmother dropped by to tell you about her favorite non-traditional themes guaranteed to thrill any bride.

an assortment of pink cupcakes, cookies and cakes

Big Picture Basics (4-6 Weeks Before)

Select, Order and Send Invitations: Now that you have the who, where and when determined, the next step in the bridal shower planning process is to get the invitations printed, addressed and on their way. We recommend having these in the mail at least one month prior to the shower date in order to give any out of town guests time to make arrangements. For your benefit, have the RSVP date two weeks from the shower so you can finalize details according to the guest count. Be sure the invitations include the date, time and location of the shower as well as any registry information for the couple. If there is a theme that guests need to prepare for (outfits, gifts, etc.), make sure that is included too.

Decide on Decorations: While you’ve probably had a hand in helping your bride choose everything from the centerpieces to the cake topper, this is your opportunity to take the reins on all things decor. Depending on the theme and the personality of your bride, you can go as minimal or over the top as you’d like. To get your feet wet, we’ve put together a list of the best decorations for any modern day bridal shower. Once you confirm your final guest count, be sure to double check that there are enough tables and seats for the guests to relax, eat and play games. If you find yourself short, we recommend asking around to the rest of the bridal party, as well as the mothers of the bride and groom, to save money on renting.

Plan a Menu: The same rules apply to selecting a menu as they do to choosing decor- follow the overall theme of the shower and the preferences of your bride. We recommend that whatever the theme, you serve a tasty variety of buffet-style, easy-to-plate foods such as dips, salads, finger sandwiches, etc. Want to step your food game up a notch? Have your guests create their own dishes by setting up any number of these fun and flavorful food bars. While planning your food menu, you also want to decide on any alcoholic drinks you’ll be providing. Put a modern twist on the classic champagne cocktail by featuring a DIY mimosa bar or any of these mouthwatering mixed drinks perfect for girls-only gatherings

Prepare Games and Activities: Once you’ve decided on decorations and selected the menu, your next step is to figure out which bridal shower games, if any, you’ll want to play. While games are not always a necessity, they represent a great way to get guests interacting and having a great time. Worried that all traditional bridal shower games are boring or outdated? Have no fear, Modern MOH is here to prove that theory way wrong. Or maybe games just aren’t your bride’s thing, but you still want to have a few fun activities for guests to engage in. No problem, we got that covered too. This step of the planning process is also the time for you to purchase prizes for any shower games and decide if you’ll be giving out guest favors.

Delegate Duties to Bridesmaids: More than likely you’ll have already involved the rest of the girls in the bridal shower planning process, so now is the time to officially delegate to-dos to each bridesmaid. Depending on the size of the bridal party, you can be as specific or general as you need. As maid of honor you will be taking on the most responsibility, but by no means does that you’re responsible for every last thing. We recommend doing an overall inventory of everything you’ll need, then dividing and distributing duties evenly. Just be sure that no one bridesmaids is taking on more of a financial burden than another. If you can afford to, purchase everything yourself then have the rest of the party pay you their portion. Remember, most mothers of the bride and groom would love to pitch in any way they can, so make sure you reach out to them for whatever extra help you might need!

sliced watermelon next to full flutes of champagne

Final Few To-Dos (Week of and Day Before)

Buy a Gift: With all the craziness of planning a bridal shower that’s absolutely perfect, you can’t forget to get your BFF one hell of a gift. While there’s nothing wrong with selecting something off of her registry, we say leave that to the rest of the guests. After all, being a modern maid of honor means going above and beyond in any way you can. Instead, pull from you expert insight and personal experiences with the bride to come up with something heartfelt and unique. Just to be clear, we don’t mean spend the most money, we mean spend the time and effort to show your bestie what it means to be her maid of honor.

Plan an Outfit: Trust us when we say DO NOT leave this til the morning of. We promise that you’ll be running around with enough on your plate, what you’re going to wear should not be a thought that crosses your crowded mind. Have everything from your earrings to your shoes planned out, so all you have to do is suit up and go. As far as what to wear, there’s only one major rule: Leave white to the bride. Pro tip: If you’re wearing newly bought shoes during the wedding, we suggest breaking them in at the shower!

Finalize EVERYTHING: We mean everything- chairs, tables, linens, cups, plates, napkins, utensils, flowers, decorations, games, prizes, favors, music etc. Leave no stone unturned- you’ll thank yourself later. During this double checking process, you should brainstorm a basic layout for where you’ll place all equipment and decor to simplify the day-of set up. Be sure to reach out to the rest of the bridal party, as well as the MOB and MOG if they’re involved, to confirm that they’re ready to roll. Finally, follow up with any unconfirmed RSVPs in order to finalize the guest count.

Buy Groceries and Spirits: If you are in charge of any cooking or cocktails, purchase the necessary ingredients a day or two prior to the shower. As far as the food goes, do any preparation you can the night before to save yourself time. To save yourself money, buy your spirits in bulk to receive case discounts. Finally, save yourself the hassle of transporting dirty dishes by serving both food and drinks in disposable containers.

bride to be cake topper

Day of Duties (During)

Arrive Early: It’s finally here! Soon you’ll be celebrating all your hard work, but first there’s much to do. We suggest arriving to the shower venue at least one to two hours early to guarantee enough time for set up. That may seem like a lot of time, but more likely than not you’ll have a full car to unload as will the rest of the bridesmaids. Having extra time will also allow you a moment to breath before you switch to full on hostess mode. When it comes to decorating don’t forget that you’re the leader of the tribe, so do not hesitate to delegate duties in order to keep everybody moving and ahead of schedule. Once everything has found its proper place, do one last sweep then pour yourself a glass of bubbly!

Hostess with the Mostess: Now that the party is in full swing, it’s your responsibility to keep it flowing in the right direction. This includes keeping all food dishes full and drink containers replenished, as well as picking up any forgotten trash. Once all the guests have had a chance to eat and fill their drinks, it’s time for you to announce any games or activities that will be played. You will be in charge of relaying the rules of the game as well as crowning any winners.

Record all Gifts: The final role you’ll play as maid of honor on shower day is that of secretary. Before the bride begins opening her gifts, get yourself a notebook and pen ready to go. As you hand over each package, ask the bride to announce who the gift is from then record what it is. Detail is very important here because this is what your BFF will be using to send her thank you cards out. If there are any duplicate first names, be sure to note the last name that goes with each.


Check out our other awesome articles on bridal shower planning here.

Hi, I’m Megan-the voice behind Modern MOH! I was blessed enough to be the maid of honor for both of my besties, who just so happened to get married six months apart. It was my first time as a bridesmaid (let alone a MOH!) and I had no idea what I was doing, so I turned to BFF #3- the internet. It didn’t take me long to realize how little content had been written about being a maid of honor. This struck me as odd, not to mention unfair, considering there are a gazillion and one sites specifically for brides (WeddingWire, The Knot, Brides... just to name a few). So, long story short, I decided to take matters into my own hands and create Modern MOH. I’ve designed this blog to be a one-stop shop for all your maid of honor needs, including some real s#*! no one else will tell you. My goal is to help anyone struggling in their quest to find the answers to their questions, as well as the confidence it takes to be the GMOHOAT (greatest maid of honor of all time).

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