How to Write a Killer Maid of Honor Speech: The Ultimate Guide
To us here at Modern MOH, the writing and delivery of the maid of honor speech is the most sacred duty of them all. We feel this is your true time to shine and the greatest opportunity to show your bestie just how much her happiness means to you. By taking the time to construct a heartfelt and well-written speech, then delivering it to the best of your ability, you will help make your bride’s wedding day all the more perfect.
And while we doubt we were your first stop on the “how to write a maid of honor speech” search train, we do hope to be your final destination. You see, unlike most articles you’ll find on the subject of maid of honor speeches, we’re actually going to give it to you straight. No vaguely basic outlines or generically boring examples, just the cold hard facts.
Because we have some serious experience in the toast department, and if there’s one thing we’ve learned about writing a killer maid of honor speech, it’s this: there is no secret formula, no one best way. How could there be? Each and every relationship between a maid of honor and a bride is different from the next, just as each and every memory is uniquely yours.
Lastly, we know the thought of having to give a wedding toast in front of a large group of people may be terrifying for most, that’s why we’re here to teach you a thing or two to ease those nerves. From start to finish, we have all the tips and tricks you need to know to bring the house down.
How to Write a Maid of Honor Speech in 5 Simple Steps
1. Define Your Overall Objective
Before you begin writing your maid of honor speech, you must first define your objective. In other words, you need to have a goal you’re looking to accomplish. For example, are you hoping to make wedding guests laugh? Cry? Both? Do you want to talk about your history with the bride, about how you met the groom, or what their relationship as a couple means to you? Knowing the answers to these questions will help you figure out the direction you should take when writing your wedding toast.
If you find yourself struggling to define your objective, simply think of your relationship with both the bride and groom. Do they have a great sense of humor? Is your time together spent mostly joking around and laughing? If so, try taking a comedic approach to your toast by cracking a few funny jokes along the way. Or maybe you and your bride have been through some very serious times together that you want to share, in which case your speech may be much more emotionally moving. The great part about this objective is that it’s your own, so there is no one right or best way to go about it.
MODERN MOH TIP: Touch on a little bit of everything. Start strong with a joke or two and finish out with a sentimental toast. While there is no exact formula to it, a truly good maid of honor speech is both funny enough to get wedding guests laughing and moving enough to bring a tear to their eye. Secondly, don’t spend so much time talking about your history with the bride that you forget to talk about the groom. Even if you don’t have your own personal memories with your best friend’s new hubby, that doesn’t mean he should be left out of your speech. Instead, talk about their relationship as a couple and what it means to you, including your wishes for the bride and groom’s future together.
2. Decide on Your Point of View
The key to writing a killer of maid of honor speech is to not think of it as a speech, but instead a story. And as the narrator of this particular story, it’s up to you to determine the point of view from which you tell it. While it may seem obvious that you’d write from the first-person POV, there are definitely some benefits to switching it up.
To begin with, writing from a third-person POV will give your toast a unique twist and a more story-like feel. For example, instead of saying “Taylor and I met on the school bus in the third grade and she’s been my best friend ever since”, you could say “When Taylor was in the third grade, she met a little girl on the school bus who remains her best friend to this day”.
Like the idea, but don’t think you can write an entire speech that way? No problem. Unlike what you were taught in grade school, you have the freedom to switch between differing points of view when telling your story. If you haven’t caught on yet, let us reiterate: there is no right or wrong when it comes to writing your speech.
MODERN MOH TIP: Take advantage of switching up points of view. Start with narrating from the first person point of view, especially if it’s easier for you to tell the history between you and the bride that way. When it comes time to talk about the couple, tell their story from an outsider’s perspective. If you do decide to go this route, don’t get so crazy with it that you start confusing your audience. The whole point of using different points of view is to enhance your maid of honor speech, not complicate it.
3. Determine Your Must-Haves
Now that you’ve defined your objective and decided on your POV, it’s time to determine your must-haves. By must-haves, we mean the anecdotes you absolutely want to include in your maid of honor speech. For instance, is there a particularly good memory you have with the bride that you definitely want to share with wedding guests? Or maybe you were there when the bride and groom met and you want to tell your side of the couple’s story?
Determining your must-haves before you begin writing your toast will guarantee you don’t forget to feature them. Not to mention, it will keep you from going off track when it comes time to put pen to paper. If you’re having trouble narrowing it down, keep this in mind: it’s much better to have one or two epic stories than a mix of mediocre ones.
MODERN MOH TIP: Don’t be that maid of honor that goes on and on about memories and “funny” inside jokes you have with the bride (no wedding guest wants to hear it, trust us). Instead, tell one or two really good stories that portray your friendship and then move on to her relationship with the groom and their history as a couple. Too many MOHs make the mistake of making their toast all about them and not enough about the couple whose wedding they are supposed to be celebrating. If you want to talk about yourself in front of a big audience, try Youtube.
4. Develop Your Story From Beginning to End
As we mentioned before, the key to writing a killer maid of honor speech is to tell it like a story. And just like any good story, you must develop it from beginning to middle to end (think along the lines of “once upon a time” to “they lived happily ever after”). While it’s entirely up to you to decide what constitutes the beginning, middle, and end of your particular story, you should avoid big jumps in time. In other words, do your best to develop it in chronological order so you don’t confuse wedding guests.
For instance: Start by telling the story of how you and the bride met, continue on with a memory you have of the bride and groom, and finish with a toast for the couple. Again, there is no magic formula when it comes to writing a maid of honor speech, but having a clear and concise storyline is highly suggested.
MODERN MOH TIP: Don’t be predictable. Chances are you and your best friend didn’t cross paths in some epic way (especially if you’re sisters), so skip the generic “this is how we met” story. Instead, dive right into a funny/crazy/holy s*$&! moment to get the crowd’s attention. And don’t be boring with your finale either. No generic “cheers to the Mr. & Mrs.” toast, we know you can do better than that. Your goal should be to receive a standing ovation from the couple and their wedding guests, not a polite golf clap.
5. Describe Your Characters in Detail
We can’t stress how important this final step is when it comes to writing your maid of honor speech. Seriously, taking the extra step to describe your characters in detail is what differentiates the bland from the bomb. And just so we’re clear, by characters we mean the bride and groom, and by detail we mean elaboration. For example, instead of saying “Taylor is such a great friend, she’s always been there for me whenever I needed her”, you should say “I’ve never met a more loving and loyal person than Taylor, she truly exemplifies what it means to be a best friend”.
These extra tweaks may seem insignificant to you, but they’re exactly the lines that will resonate with your audience and more importantly, the couple. And if writing isn’t your strong suit, don’t worry. Simply speak from the heart, you’ll be surprised at how well your final product turns out.
MODERN MOH TIP: Use a thesaurus (seriously, we do it all the time). It’s a good way to spice up your word choice and will stop you from repeating yourself. On the flip side, don’t feel like you have to use a ton of fancy words- you want to sound like yourself after all, not Shakespeare. Lastly, don’t be afraid to throw a bit of alliteration in there. It brings character to your writing and will make your toast much more memorable (see what we did there?)
How to End a Maid of Honor Speech
Now that you’ve got the beginning and middle of your speech outlined, it’s time to work on your ending. As this will be your final moment with the mic, your goal should be to make it a memorable one.
One hard-fast rule on ending any maid of honor speech is to address both the bride and groom as a newlywed couple and offer your best wishes for a happy marriage. The easiest way to accomplish this is by raising a toast.
As far as the contents of your toast, it’s up to you if you want to use your own words or prefer to recite a heartfelt quote. To help you decide, ask yourself the following question:
If the answer is yes, by all means, write up your own personal toast. If the answer is no, start searching for the perfect quote.
MODERN MOH TIP: Select a few possible endings for your maid of honor speech and do test runs through them all to see which flows the best. Oftentimes it’s easier to decide based on how you deliver the words than how they sound in your head.
Suggestions for the maid of honor when she’s the mother of the bride…?
I don’t wanna get too mushy I want to keep it lighthearted and fun but I want it to be special.
What a super special time for you and your daughter!
I would definitely recommend starting with some funny childhood stories, especially if you they feature any family members or friends who are attending. Pulling the audience in is the best way to capture their attention!
I totally get not wanting to get too mushy, but as her mom, you definitely have the opportunity for an extra hard tug at the heartstrings (and I absolutely suggest doing so!) Whether you talk about how you’ve envisioned this day since she was a little girl, or how you felt when you realized your daughter had met ‘the one’, speaking from the heart as her mom will add the perfect sentimental touch to your speech.
Good luck with everything- I have total faith that you’ll knock it out of the park 🙂
What should I write when I’m the step daughter of the bride
That is so sweet of your stepmother to ask you to be her maid of honor! During your speech, I would be sure to tell her how much your relationship as stepmother and stepdaughter means to you, as well as what her relationship with your father means to your family.
You are in a unique position that you have been such a close part of their relationship, so I would use that to your advantage!
Good luck 🙂
What if I’m the maid of honor and need to write this speech, but really dislike the groom?
Unfortunately, this situation is more common than you may think and my advice is always the same- do not under any circumstances let your feelings about the groom be known during your speech.
Even if you can’t find it within yourself to say something nice specifically about the groom, this does not mean you should ignore him altogether. Simply include a few lines about the two as a couple, keeping it light and positive.
I’m the sister of the groom and barely know the bride! She and my brother live several states away and have visited a total of about 6 days (2 long weekends)- so there are no real stories or experiences about us. How do I pull this off?? Any tips would be wonderful!!
This is definitely a difficult position to be in, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still deliver a great speech!
My best recommendation would be to reach out to your brother and future SIL’s closest friends to ask for any stories they may have about them as a couple (e.g. how they met, a favorite memory, etc.) Just because you don’t have your own experiences to share doesn’t mean you can’t speak to their relationship through the voice of their loved ones.
Also, don’t make a point to say you don’t know the bride very well. Instead, say something along the lines of “I know that living far away from each other makes it difficult to spend time together, but I truly look forward to getting to know you better as not just a sister-in-law, but a friend.”
I hope this helps in some way! Good luck 🙂
Help! What if I’ve never met the groom? We’ve been long distance best friends for a while now.
For those MOHs who have never met/don’t know the groom very well, I always recommend that they talk to the bride for some insight. Start by asking your BFF about how they met, her favorite memories as a couple, and their hopes/dreams as husband and wife.
You can also reach out to the best man or other groomsmen to get their perspective of the groom and his relationship with your friend. Just because you don’t have your own experiences to share doesn’t mean you can’t speak to their relationship through the voice of their loved ones.
Hope this helps! Good luck 🙂
So, the bride and myself have only been friends for about a year and a half. We are so close though, it feels like we’ve known each other forever. How do I go about talking about our friendship when most of the suggestions are childhood memories or having known the bride for so long. Thanks!
Hi Brittany! I think the fact that you’ve only known each other for a year and a half, but are close enough to be playing such an important role in your friend’s wedding is so special. I would totally highlight that in your speech as a way to show the audience how welcoming and obviously lovable the bride is.
And just because you don’t have a long history together does not mean that you and your friend don’t have fun memories for you to reminisce on during your speech. You can also talk about your hopes and plans for the future of your friendship!
I hope this helps and good luck! 🙂
I feel like writing this speech for my sister’s wedding should be so easy, but I am struggling hard. I have so many funny stories but can’t figure out how to tie one or two of them together to create a wonderful speech. Please help!
Sometimes writing such an important speech for someone you love is the opposite of easy because you put so much pressure on yourself to make it perfect! I would recommend choosing stories that the audience can easily follow along with without feeling totally left out or lost. In other words, don’t rely on stories that feature an inside joke between you and your sister or you’ll be the only two laughing at the end.
I hope this helps! Good luck 🙂
Help!! My sister is getting married next September so I have some time but of course she asked me to be her MOH but her best friend had her as her MOH and I thought she was going to have her be hers in return since they are basically sisters and have known each other since they were very little. I love that I’m her MOH but is it possible to have two?? How should I go about bringing it up? I’m 6 years younger than my sister so her best friend knows more about her and her friends and the groom even since she was there watching them fall in love. I feel like I’m at a disadvantage. I don’t want to not be her MOH but I also rather share the title with her best friend that way we could make a killer speech??
Hi Kait, this is a tough position to be in! If you are simply worried about not making a great MOH speech, you could just let your sister know your fears and ask her if she would mind you bringing her friend in for some insight and inspiration.
On the other hand, if you truly feel that you could be a better MOH all around with your sister’s friend’s help, then I think it’s totally ok to let your sister know this. Just be sure to emphasize that it’s not because you don’t want to be her MOH at all, but that you really could use the support of her very close friend to make her wedding experience the best that it can be.
I hope this helps! If you have any more questions or concerns, feel free to let me know.
My big sister is getting married in September and she asked me to be here MOH. I’m struggling to write my speech for her because I dont have any fond memories with her, and we weren’t exactly the closest due to past occurrences. I’m very nervous with public speaking as is, so this is adding a lot more stress than I’d like. I’m lost of how to write a speech that’s short but meaningful.
Hi Beth, so sorry to hear that you’re stressing out about your speech! It can definitely be challenging to write a speech when you don’t have a lot of fond memories to touch on, but it’s certainly not impossible.
Since you and your sister have had a difficult past, my advice would be to instead focus the speech on the relationship she has with the groom. Keep it short by telling one good story about them as a couple, and wrap it up with your well wishes for their future as husband and wife. As long as you speak from the heart and sound sincere, your speech will be very meaningful!