Is This Bride Unreasonable to Demand a Specific Maid of Honor Dress?
A bride’s refusal to let her maid of honor choose her dress has caused quite a stir on Reddit’s “Am I The Asshole” (AITA) thread. The bride-to-be, who goes by the username WeddingJitters, shared her dilemma, asking if she was wrong for insisting on a specific dress color for her maid of honor, Crissy, her best friend of nearly ten years.
The bride is set to marry in August, with her wedding colors chosen as dark green and pale pink. Crissy, excited to be the maid of honor, eagerly picked out green dresses while shopping. However, the bride insisted that Crissy wear pink, despite Crissy’s dislike for the color.
“I told her I wanted her to wear pink instead. She was disappointed and said she doesn’t like pink and would probably not buy a dress from the store we were at if it wasn’t in a color she liked (because the boutique was pricey),” the bride wrote.
Crissy, attempting to compromise, sent links to dresses that were not the specific shade of pink the bride wanted and even some green dresses with pink floral patterns. This frustration led the bride to recall her experience as Crissy’s maid of honor.
“She made a comment about how when I was her maid of honor a few years ago, she let me buy a dress I’ve worn multiple times since,” she explained. This comment angered the bride, as Crissy’s wedding colors were navy and silver, making the blue dress she chose versatile.
Seeking advice, the bride turned to her sister, who labeled her a “bridezilla.” The bride felt misunderstood, explaining that Crissy’s wedding was casual and had many homemade elements, while she preferred a more elegant and classy style.
“When I first started talking to Crissy about my wedding plans, she kept reminding me that it’s one day and just a party and stuff like that,” she added. This difference in priorities and expectations seems to be at the heart of their conflict.
Reddit users were quick to weigh in on the situation. One commenter suggested, “If you want her in a color she won’t wear again, why don’t you buy the dress instead? Or better yet, rent one. Much cheaper, no unwanted dress at the end.” This practical solution resonated with many, highlighting the financial aspect of wedding attire.
Another user pointed out the importance of communication and understanding each other’s perspectives. “Maybe she thinks the shade of pink you picked is really unflattering on her, maybe she’s finding it difficult to find something in that color that she would also be comfortable wearing, or maybe she doesn’t want to spend a bunch of money on a dress she hates,” they suggested.
Cultural differences also came into play, with some users sharing their own experiences and customs. “I’m so thankful that in my country and culture, the wedding couple pays for the bridesmaids and usher’s outfits,” one commenter noted.
Another added, “My experience as a Midwesterner in the US is this—from 1999 to 2007, I was in a few weddings, and my exact dress was chosen by the bride and I paid for it.”
Many users urged the bride to reconsider her stance and think about the significance of her friendship with Crissy. “I think the epitome of elegant and classy is loving your friends for who they are. That means allowing your MoH to choose her own clothing that fits the color scheme of green and pink and the formality of the event,” one user commented. This sentiment was echoed by others who emphasized the importance of empathy and compromise.
In response to the backlash, the bride clarified in an edit to her original post that she was not kicking Crissy out of the maid of honor role or asking her to step down. She reiterated their long-standing friendship and Crissy’s support in other aspects of the wedding. “Fine, I will ask if she wants me to help pay for the dress. I still don’t think I’m the asshole,” she added, acknowledging the financial strain of the situation.
This Reddit thread has sparked a broader debate about wedding planning, friendship dynamics, and cultural expectations. While some argue that the bride has the final say, others stress the importance of compromise and understanding. As one user aptly put it, “Weddings can be as stressful as you make them. Don’t let your friend’s dress be one of those stressors.”
