MOH Punished For Insisting Her Fiance Is Invited to Sister’s Wedding
A woman recently took to Reddit’s “Am I The Asshole” (AITA) thread to ask if she was wrong for not inviting her siblings to her wedding. The original poster (OP), vic_ticious, a 30-year-old woman, had endured a trying experience as the Maid of Honor (MOH) at her sister’s wedding and felt deeply hurt by the treatment she received. Now planning her own wedding, she found herself torn about whether to include her siblings, who had been unsupportive and even hostile during her sister’s wedding.
OP’s story began with her excitement to help plan her sister’s wedding. Her sister, a 34-year-old doctor, had recently married, and OP had been thrilled to take on the role of MOH. “I was so excited to help her plan her wedding and I took on most of the work since I was unemployed at the time and she’s a doctor,” she explained.
However, her enthusiasm quickly turned to misery as her sister’s demanding behavior made her feel more like a servant than a valued sibling.
Leading up to the wedding, OP’s sister refused to invite OP’s fiancé, despite their 12-year relationship. This exclusion stung, especially since other siblings’ partners, who had been around for only a few years, were invited.
“She said she didn’t want my fiancé around because people would be asking about my own wedding,” OP wrote. After much insistence, her sister begrudgingly extended an invitation to OP’s fiancé, but the damage had already been done.
The situation worsened on the wedding day, as OP explains. “By the time we got to the reception venue, I noticed that my fiance and I were on a separate table from my family. They were at the vip table and I was cast aside to sit at the furthest table right beside the kitchen.” When she calmly asked her sister about the seating arrangement, she was told, “there’s no mistake, that’s where we belong. At the kids table and far away. (We were seated with 7-14yr olds)”
This blatant disregard for her feelings was a breaking point. OP decided not to make the MOH speech, leading to further confrontation with her brothers, who accused her of being selfish and a disgrace.
Reflecting on her experience, OP shared that her siblings had not once checked on her during the reception, despite noticing her absence from the family table. “When they heard I wasn’t making a speech, my two brothers walked to my table to tell me off,” she recounted. Their harsh words only added to her distress. Ultimately, OP and her fiancé left the wedding early and had dinner at McDonald’s, which she documented on social media with a photo of their “post-wedding meal.”
The aftermath of the wedding left OP feeling deeply hurt and undervalued. Her sister, unrepentant, justified her actions with flimsy excuses, such as OP not planning the wedding exactly as envisioned, looking too pretty in her gown, and needing to be punished for insisting on bringing her fiancé.
“Up to this day, the bride says she did nothing wrong,” OP noted. Her siblings, too, continued to berate her for her decision to exclude them from her own wedding, labeling her childish and vindictive.
The Reddit community overwhelmingly sided with OP, deeming her “Not the Asshole” (NTA). Many users were appalled by her sister’s behavior and empathized with OP’s decision to exclude her siblings from her wedding.
One user commented, “NTA. Your sister and your sibs are AH. The fact that an educated doctor can state that you ‘need to be punished’ and not realize how middle school she’s being really shows her garbage person character.”
Another user echoed this sentiment: “Your sister is nasty and your siblings are no better. Cutting ties with all of them is well worth it. Make sure your parents see how you actually treat people. Don’t waste your time or money on horrid people.”
The consensus was clear: OP’s sister and brothers had treated her poorly, and she had every right to exclude them from her wedding to avoid further drama and disrespect. “NTA, as you say, they are being treated like they treated you. If they don’t like it now, then they should have thought about it then,” another user advised.
Several comments highlighted the importance of setting boundaries with family members, even in high-stakes situations like weddings. One user insightfully wrote, “Have you always bent over backwards while your siblings treated you like shit on the bottom of your shoe? They’re awful. I’m glad you stopped enabling their awfulness. But you should have stopped sooner.”
This sentiment was echoed by others who urged OP to prioritize her well-being and happiness over familial obligations. “NTA, your sister is a monster. It’s bad enough to be unappreciative but to be punishing you for working your ass off, expecting to bring your partner of over a decade to the wedding you planned for her, and looking decent at her wedding?” another user questioned.
Interestingly, OP’s parents supported her decision, recognizing the unfair treatment she had endured. However, her siblings continued to accuse her of being childish and vindictive. This divergence in opinions within the family added another layer of complexity to the situation.
A comment from another user encapsulated the issue: “NTA. Respond as such: ‘I see no reason to invite people that try to gaslight me into accepting being treated as a servant and not a family member.'”
As OP moves forward with her wedding plans, she faces a crucial decision: who to include in her celebration. The AITA community’s support has validated her feelings and provided a sense of solidarity. It’s evident that OP’s sister’s actions have caused significant emotional damage, and maintaining distance might be necessary for OP’s peace of mind.
For her own wedding, OP has the opportunity to surround herself with supportive and loving individuals who genuinely care about her happiness. Her decision to exclude her siblings may be difficult, but it is a testament to her strength and resolve. One user’s comment offered a broader perspective: “We all need to learn the difference between ‘nice’ and ‘doormat’. This is a great way to start.”
Ultimately, OP’s story underscores the importance of self-respect and the necessity of setting boundaries, even with family. It highlights that weddings are not just about the couple but also about the relationships that surround them. By standing up for herself, OP is taking a step towards creating a healthier, more respectful dynamic within her family.
