My Sister Wants Her Dog to Have My Seat at Her Wedding – AITA for Refusing to Go?
A maid of honor asks if she’s the asshole for refusing to attend her sister’s wedding after being asked to give up her seat for the bride’s dog. The unusual request sparked a lively debate, with many people overwhelmingly supporting the sister who feels mistreated.
A Reddit user, MyLocalExpert, recently turned to the popular “Am I The Asshole” (AITA) thread to ask if she was in the wrong for refusing to attend her sister’s wedding after being asked to give up her seat at the head table—for her sister’s dog. The situation, while seemingly absurd, has sparked a lively debate among Redditors, with many questioning where to draw the line between accommodating loved ones and standing up for oneself.
The original poster (OP), a 28-year-old woman, shared that she and her 32-year-old sister, Sarah, have always been close. When Sarah asked OP to be her Maid of Honor, she was thrilled and spent months helping to plan the perfect wedding. However, the excitement quickly turned to tension when Sarah made an unusual request that caught OP completely off guard.
OP explained in her post, “Sarah is having a small, intimate wedding with about 30 guests. I was thrilled when she asked me to be her Maid of Honor. We spent months planning and making sure everything was perfect.
But then, about two weeks ago, Sarah dropped a bombshell on me. She told me that she wanted Luna to have a special role in the wedding, which I thought was sweet. However, she then asked if I would be okay with giving up my seat at the head table so that Luna could sit next to her during the reception.”
At first, OP thought her sister was joking. But as it turns out, Sarah was dead serious. She wanted her dog, Luna, to sit next to her at the reception because she gets anxious around crowds. Sarah believed that having Luna close by would help calm her nerves.
OP was shocked by the request and felt hurt that her sister would prioritize a dog over her, especially on such an important day. She tried to reason with Sarah, asking why Luna couldn’t sit on the floor or at a different table, but Sarah was adamant.
“I asked her why Luna couldn’t sit on the floor or at a different table, but Sarah insisted that Luna needs to be right next to her because she gets anxious around crowds. She even said that I could sit with the other bridesmaids or find another seat somewhere else in the room,” OP shared.
Feeling disrespected and undervalued, OP told Sarah that she wasn’t comfortable giving up her seat for a dog. She expressed her excitement about being part of the wedding but couldn’t help but feel like an afterthought. Sarah, in turn, accused OP of being unreasonable and even suggested that if OP truly loved her, she would be willing to do this “small” favour.
“Sarah got upset and said I was being unreasonable. She said that Luna is like her baby and that I should understand how important it is for her to be comfortable. When I told her I might not come to the wedding if she insisted on this, she accused me of trying to sabotage her day and said that if I really loved her, I’d do this one small thing for her,” OP recounted.
This argument left OP questioning herself. Was she being selfish for not wanting to give up her seat? Her mother advised her to go along with the request to keep the peace, but her friends told her that Sarah was out of line. Torn between her desire to support her sister and her feelings of being mistreated, OP turned to Reddit for advice.
The Reddit community quickly rallied behind OP, with many users reassuring her that she was not the one in the wrong. One of the top comments read, “NTA. Quick reminder for everyone: ‘If you really loved me, you would…’ is the most obvious manipulative set of words. If you ever hear these, you should automatically know that you are not an asshole.”
Another commenter expressed frustration with the idea of “keeping the peace,” stating, “Anytime I read ‘X told me to go along with it to keep the peace, AITA?’ it is definitely NTA. ‘Keeping the peace’ is a euphemism for ‘give in to the AH demands.'”
As the comments poured in, it became clear that many people saw Sarah’s request as not only unreasonable but also disrespectful. One user bluntly stated, “NTA. Your sister has lost her mind. ‘Or you could find somewhere else in the room.’ Translation: ‘You’re on your own. I can’t be bothered to see to your comfort or respect, because I want to make a bigger show of pampering my dog than my sister/maid of honor who has been helping with the wedding for the past year.'”
The practicality of having a dog at the head table was also called into question. One user remarked, “I’ll probably get hate for this too, but dogs do not belong at the table, it’s unhygienic.” Another added, “Aside from her treating you terribly, her dog DOESN’T LIKE CROWDS. So she’s putting the dog in a situation that she knows will make the dog uncomfortable too.”
In a subsequent update, OP revealed that she had decided to step down as Maid of Honor, feeling that the role should go to Luna, who was evidently more important to Sarah. She also mentioned that she would still attend the wedding as a guest, sitting wherever there was space, but she no longer felt comfortable being part of the wedding party.
“I have decided I will be stepping down as Maid of Honor. That role should go to Luna because she is the most important woman in Sarah’s life. She should be standing next to Sarah at the wedding and sitting next to her at the reception. And while I don’t think Sarah will ever truly understand the level of hurt she has caused me, it’s still her day and she gets to do whatever she wants,” OP wrote in her update.
This decision was met with mixed reactions. While some Redditors applauded OP for taking the high road, others urged her to reconsider attending the wedding altogether. One commenter suggested, “If they get angry with you, just don’t attend the wedding. This is what your sister wants, so she should just make the dog the MOH and be done with it.”
As the thread continued to grow, some users reflected on the deeper implications of the situation. One pointed out, “It would have been different if she had planned to have the dog by her side from the beginning. They could have had a table for them and one for the wedding party. I don’t think you need to be at the head table, but to have been downgraded is the issue.”
Another user highlighted the potential social awkwardness of the scenario, asking, “Is the Best Man still at the head table, or will the table only be the Bride, Groom, and dog? If the sister is bumped for the dog, but the Groom’s brother/best friend is still there, as a guest, I don’t know what I would think. I would definitely be looking at the MOH to see how she was taking it.”
In conclusion, the Reddit community overwhelmingly supported OP’s decision to step down as Maid of Honor, with many urging her to prioritize her own well-being. The consensus was that OP was not in the wrong for refusing to give up her seat for a dog, and that Sarah’s request was both unreasonable and hurtful. As one commenter aptly put it, “You deserve to be treated with respect, especially on such a significant day in your sister’s life. If she can’t see that, then that’s her loss, not yours.”
The thread continues to gain attention, with more users weighing in on the situation. Whether or not OP decides to attend the wedding as a guest, it’s clear that this experience has forever altered her relationship with her sister and while Luna may have a special place in Sarah’s heart, it’s up to OP to decide how she wants to move forward, both as a sister and as someone who deserves to be treated with care and consideration.
