‘I Kicked Out Two Bridesmaidzillas 11 Days Before My Wedding’
Planning a wedding is often a monumental task filled with stress, joy, and unexpected challenges. For one bride, the journey to her big day became particularly tumultuous just 11 days before her wedding, leading her to make the drastic decision to remove two bridesmaids from her bridal party.
This story, shared on a popular Reddit thread, by pewtermug, has captivated many, highlighting the fine line between maintaining wedding traditions and managing friendships.
Ella*, the bride, detailed her ordeal on Reddit, starting with the initial conflict that set the stage for the drama. It began with one of her bridesmaids, Anna*, asking if her boyfriend could wear a cowboy hat to the wedding.
Ella explained that her wedding venues—a church and a beachfront location—did not suit the casual look of a cowboy hat. Ella wrote, “I told her that I did not want a cowboy hat in my photos or in my wedding, that that was not the vibe my husband and I were going for.”
The situation escalated when Anna, who was financially struggling, insisted on her boyfriend wearing jeans. Ella reluctantly agreed to black jeans to maintain some formality, trying to be accommodating.
However, Anna continued to bring up their financial difficulties, creating tension between the two. Ella described how Anna’s repeated mentions of money made her uncomfortable, and she tried to reassure Anna that everyone was spending significant amounts to attend the wedding.
Things took a turn when Anna accused Ella of micromanaging and being insensitive to her financial situation. Ella shared on Reddit, “She decided to say that a wedding was about celebrating our love and if I was focused so much on a cowboy hat my priorities were in the wrong place.”
Ella felt these accusations were unfounded, as she and her husband had taken care of most wedding expenses themselves, including dresses, hair and makeup, and an Airbnb for getting ready.
The conflict didn’t stop with Anna. Bridesmaid M, who lived three time zones away, sided with Anna, further complicating matters. M accused Ella of being insensitive, despite Ella and her husband covering many expenses.
Ella felt overwhelmed and unsupported, leading her to consider removing both Anna and M from the bridal party. Her other bridesmaid, Emily*, and friend, Diana*, offered support and even stepped in to help.
Ella eventually decided to remove Anna and M from the wedding. She shared her feelings on Reddit: “I let it sit, I said nothing else…A few hours later I said to both A and M, basically, ‘You know what? Never mind. I don’t want either of you to come. This is my wedding, we are paying for everything, and I was not wrong. I do not deserve this treatment.'”
The aftermath of Ella’s decision was met with mixed reactions from Reddit users. Some supported her decision, emphasizing that it was her wedding and she had the right to make the final call. Others felt that Ella was too harsh and judgmental towards her friends, especially considering their financial struggles and personal circumstances.
One Reddit user commented, “It’s your wedding, so of course it’s you that pays for everything. Bridesmaids usually pay for their own dresses, shoes, and travel. It’s not unreasonable to set some boundaries.” This perspective highlights the traditional expectations placed on bridesmaids and the financial burdens they often face.
Another user disagreed, stating, “The way Ella judged her friends for being poor or divorced is kind of gross. If it was a fallout with one friend, I could maybe get on board, but two friends? It makes me question her credibility.” This comment reflects the sentiment that Ella may have been overly critical of her friends’ personal lives, which added unnecessary strain to their relationships.
Ella’s story raises important questions about the balance between wedding planning and maintaining friendships. While it’s understandable that a bride wants her wedding to go smoothly and match her vision, it’s also crucial to consider the feelings and circumstances of those involved. Weddings are significant events, but so are the relationships that often face strain during the planning process.
Another Reddit user provided a balanced perspective: “It’s nice of you to pay for everything. I have never been in a wedding where expenses such as the dress didn’t come out of my own pocket. It sounds like you did a lot for them. But your opinions of your friends’ life choices do seem harsh, and you ramble a bit about some of the more petty aspects of this argument.”
Financial considerations are a common source of tension in wedding planning. Ella’s attempts to accommodate Anna’s financial situation seemed to fall short, leading to further conflict. A Reddit user pointed out, “If they were going to fight you on it then what did she even ask for in the first place? She didn’t get the answer she wanted or expected and kept pushing it.”
A suggestion from another user addressed the broader issue: “A suggestion to all potential brides, MOH, and bridesmaids; do not have bridal parties. Just stop this silly tradition. The marriage is about you and your partner; not your parents, other relations, friends, or participants in the wedding. Don’t put the burden of your wedding on anyone else.”
Ella’s story serves as a cautionary tale about the challenges of wedding planning and the potential strain on friendships. While it’s natural to want a perfect wedding day, it’s essential to communicate openly and considerately with those involved. Weddings are not just about the celebration of love between two people but also about the relationships that support them.
In the end, Ella found support from her remaining bridesmaids and managed to enjoy her wedding day. However, the experience left her and many Reddit users reflecting on the complexities of balancing wedding planning with maintaining healthy, respectful friendships.
Ella’s experience underscores the importance of empathy, communication, and flexibility in wedding planning. As one commenter succinctly put it, “Weddings should be about love and celebration, not rigid rules and unnecessary stress.” By considering the needs and feelings of everyone involved, couples can ensure that their special day is joyous and memorable for all the right reasons.
*Names changed for privacy.
