Bride’s Unexpected Kid-free Rule Leaves Family Scrambling at Destination Wedding
Unreasonable demands for a destination wedding sparked a heated discussion as the bride’s last-minute changes to kid policies left the family in a tough spot.
A Reddit user, Jlafber, recently shared her frustrating experience in a post simply titled “Bridezillas”, shedding light on the difficulties of attending a destination wedding with young children. The poster explained how she and her family were excited to attend her half-brother’s wedding.
The bride had requested that the couple’s two young daughters, aged 6 and 3, be flower girls in the ceremony. Initially, the invitation welcomed children, and the family prepared accordingly, purchasing the specific outfits the bride had chosen for the girls. However, things took a turn when the bride made a sudden change in plans after the family had already RSVP’d.
“After we RSVP’d to the wedding, the bride changed her mind and asked that all children depart the grounds at 5:30 PM, immediately after the ceremony,” the original poster (OP) wrote. This new requirement posed a significant challenge for the family, as the wedding venue was 25 to 45 minutes away from the hotel, depending on traffic.
The OP was told that they would need to arrange transportation and a sitter to take their children back to the hotel after the ceremony, but before the cocktail hour and reception.
Understandably, the OP was taken aback by this unexpected development. “We were a little shocked about the change in kid policy,” she admitted. “The kids are missing the first week of school. We purchased outfits that the bride selected just for the event, and all their family is going to be there. We likely would have made different choices if the bride was transparent upfront about the kids.”
Faced with this dilemma, the OP sought advice from the Reddit community, asking for sitter recommendations. However, most commenters thought it was risky to leave the children with a stranger in an unfamiliar setting. Despite these concerns, the OP managed to find a reputable agency with good references.
Still, the idea of having a stranger drive their children back to the hotel, especially at night, was unsettling. To navigate this situation, the OP and her husband devised a plan to skip the cocktail hour and personally take their children back to the hotel. But as they soon discovered, their troubles were far from over.
The bride, learning of their plan, insisted that the family stay for photos during the cocktail hour, which foiled their plan of slipping away unnoticed. “We will now likely have to rush back and be late for the reception/dinner,” the OP lamented. When the bride found out that the OP and her husband would miss part of the reception, she was upset, expressing concern that an empty seat at the family table would be embarrassing.
As a solution, the bride proposed moving the couple to a different, less prominent table. Though the OP found this awkward, she was willing to comply. However, the bride’s continued insistence that they find someone else to shuttle the kids back to the hotel so they could avoid an empty seat at the reception struck many Reddit users as unreasonable.
The Reddit community had plenty to say about the bride’s last-minute demands. One user suggested, “The only thing I see missing is, ‘I’m sorry, but the drastic change of plans means we can no longer make this work. Congratulations and our warmest wishes to you both.’” Another echoed this sentiment, writing, “Sorry, your change of plans means we have to change ours. We hope you enjoy your wedding. Then send a gift.”
Many users took issue with the bride’s decision to involve the children in the ceremony only to exclude them from the rest of the event. “It’s a dick move to have your kids for the ceremony only and then kick them out,” one commenter wrote. “I can understand no kids at the nighttime celebrations, but surely if they’re a part of the wedding party, they should be at the dinner as well.”
As more comments poured in, it became clear that the majority of users felt the OP was being far too accommodating. “You have been WAY more accommodating than necessary. Stop feeding the bridezilla,” one user advised. Another commenter suggested a simpler solution: “Go to the wedding. Don’t go to the reception. Tell her if she wants photos, they need to happen immediately after the wedding. Then, take your kids back to the hotel and have a fun evening together!”
Some users also pointed out the broader issue with destination weddings and the unrealistic expectations they often place on guests. “Bride is unreasonable. You can’t have it both ways,” one user noted. “I’m not going to bring the kids to the wedding to be part of the ceremony and then inconvenience myself after paying all this money for a destination wedding to leave, get a sitter, pay them, run back for a reception/pictures, etc. because an inconsiderate bride decides at the last minute to ban kids from the reception.”
Others sympathized with the OP’s situation, offering practical advice and encouragement to prioritize her children’s needs over the bride’s demands. “I would pull my kids from the wedding and just enjoy the destination without all the drama,” one user suggested. Another echoed this sentiment, advising the OP to skip the wedding altogether and send a gift instead.
Some Reddit users went even further, questioning the long-term prospects of the bride’s marriage given her behavior. One commenter bluntly stated, “I give this marriage a year. Childish, self-absorbed people don’t make for good long-term marriage partners.” Another agreed, adding, “This is a disaster before you even arrive. Decline the invite. Children really shouldn’t be missing their first week of school. Send a nice gift and be done with it.”
In the end, the overwhelming response from the Reddit community was one of support for the OP and her family. Many users urged her to stand firm and not allow the bride’s unreasonable demands to disrupt her family’s plans or compromise her children’s safety and comfort. As one user succinctly put it, “You should be using your energy on your children, not on trying to please an unreasonable bride.”
While the OP has yet to decide whether or not to attend the wedding, the advice and encouragement from the Reddit community seem to be pushing her towards prioritizing her family’s needs over the bride’s ever-changing demands. The story continues to unfold as more users share their thoughts and experiences, but one thing is clear: when it comes to wedding planning, communication and consideration for all involved are key.
The comments on the thread reflect a broad consensus that the bride’s behavior is unreasonable and that the OP’s primary responsibility should be to her children. Many users pointed out the impracticality and stress of the bride’s last-minute changes, with some questioning the long-term viability of a marriage that begins with such selfish demands.
The overall tone of the comments suggests a strong sense of community and support, with users offering practical advice and empathetic encouragement for the OP to prioritize her family’s well-being over the bride’s unrealistic expectations.
